"I drink therefore I am." ~ W.C. Fields

"I am not a heavy drinker." I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. ~Noel Coward

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they are going to feel all day." ~Frank Sinatra

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." ~Alex Levine

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." ~ George Burns